Florida man, March 20 will surely not disappoint. Below we have stories about a couple of perverts and a squirrel. Lucky for the squirrel, they are in different accounts.
Is March 20 your birthday? If so, come see what was going on in the sunshine state on your b-day.
Florida Man March 20, 2018 – Walmart Wanker
A Florida man from Yulee was arrested after caught by a woman who witnessed him doing an obscene act in the parking lot of Walmart.
Greg Osgood, 29 years old, came towards a lady shopper in her car holding his manhood in his hand and started yanking it while looking at her.
The police report indicates that a security camera recorded the entire incident.
The lady was in complete shock to see such an unexpected scene and started crying. She cried for help and immediately called 911 from Walmart.
Fortunately for the woman, they responded urgently.
Osgood was arrested nearby the Walmart when they identified the car he was using in the video.
He chose not to give any comment to the authorities. He has been charged with exposure of sex organs and disorderly conduct.
Florida Man March 20, 2020 – More Than Just A Crash
This one is about a car crash that resulted in something you may only find in Florida.
A careless driver crashed into a woman and her female passenger. Instead of the typical exchange of information or notifying the authorities, this Florida man had another plan.
After seeing who he crashed into, the Florida man got out of his car and decided to get naked. Once undressed, he proceeded to perform an obscene act.
The women reported the man to the authorities right away.
The Herald stated that Hicks was arrested and facing charges of lewd and lascivious exhibition. He is on a $2,500 bond and still being held.
Florida Man March 20, 2019 – Attack of the Squirrel
Residents in a TAmp Bay neighborhood have been reporting being disturbed by an unfriendly rodent in the community.
One community member had the brilliant idea of taming a resident squirrel. However, the squirrel quickly became unfriendly to other residents in the area and began attacking them with its claws and teeth.
Florida man Robby Armstrong was the latest of four victims of the deranged animal. He had a video from his security camera to prove it.
“The squirrel ran behind me and jumped on my side, went down my shoulder, got on my elbow, and just chomped on me,” Armstrong stated.
Armstrong added, “It just clawed me up all over here and bit me here, and here, it’s deep. That’s where he came up here and bit me there, and I just grabbed him and threw him on the ground”.
“This squirrel doesn’t have much hair on its tail because the 6-year-old next door trimmed the hair on its tail, put it on Barbie’s head,” stated Armstrong.
He explained that the squirrel has been a domesticated pet of his neighbor and trained to recognize the baby when it sees him.
Maybe Florida would be a better place if they unleashed the squirrel on the perverts. I would put my money on the squirrel.
If you enjoyed this nutty story on what is happening in the sunshine state, then don’t miss my other post on Florida man.